Code of Conduct

Unacceptable behavior

The following types of behavior are unacceptable in TBLGAY and constitute code of conduct violations.

Abusive behavior

• Harassment — including offensive verbal comments related to gender, sexual orientation, disability, neurodivergence, physical appearance, body type or size, race, or religion, as well as misgendering, sexual images, deliberate intimidation, stalking, and unwelcome sexual or romantic attention.
• Threats — threatening someone physically or verbally. For example, threatening to publicize sensitive information about someone’s personal life.
• Blatant -isms — saying things that are explicitly racist, sexist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, pluralphobic, misogynist, ableist, etc. For example, arguing that some people are less intelligent because of their gender, race or religion. Subtle -isms and small mistakes made in conversation are not code of conduct violations. However, repeating something after it has been pointed out to you that you broke a social rule, or antagonizing or arguing with someone who has pointed out your subtle -ism is considered unwelcoming behavior, and is not allowed in TBLGAY.

Unwelcoming behavior

• Maliciousness towards other people — deliberately attempting to make others feel bad, name-calling, singling out others for derision or exclusion. For example, telling someone directly or indirectly that their major is useless.
• Being especially unpleasant — for example, if we’ve received reports from multiple members of annoying, rude, or especially distracting behavior.
• Posting mature content in inappropriate venues — discussions or content relating to sex, drug use and alcohol should be exclusively posted in the 19+ chat. Explicit images or videos of oneself or others (i.e, nudes) are not allowed in TBLGAY.

Behavior that jeopardizes TBLGAY’s existence

• Violating Discord’s rules — including the Terms of Service and the Community Guidelines.

Best practices

TBLGAY’s Code of Conduct isn’t just for defining and preventing unacceptable behavior — it’s also an intentional effort to define our culture. Everyone in TBLGAY takes part in building it, so we hope you will model the behavior you’d like to see in others and remember these three guidelines:

Care for each other

• Be generous and respectful — TBLGAY is a space for conversations, not contests; leave space for others and don’t shut others down. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and earn the benefit of the doubt that we’re extending to you.
• Be as willing to teach as well as learn (and vice-versa) — no matter your background, you have something to offer TBLGAY, even if it’s just asking questions. Asking and answering questions is inherently valuable. There are no bad or dumb questions. Conversely, don’t respond to genuine or serious questions with jokes, especially in #questions-and-requests, #york-help, #homework-help, or #vents.
• Abide by our social rules — including no “well-actually”s, no acting surprised about someone not knowing something, no backseat driving, no subtle -isms, and following online etiquette. See Social Rules.

Care for the community

• Report unacceptable behaviour — if you witness any Code of Conduct violations or repeated social rule violations, report it to the TBLGAY Collective and Internal Team. For more details, see Reporting below.
• Give feedback — We can only improve with your criticisms and feedback. If you are willing to give public feedback, please do so in #questions-and-requests. Otherwise, you can contact the Collective and Internal Team via Discord Direct Message or emailing tblgayinternal@yfs.ca
• On the Discord, use and follow tempcheck — A bot will react to messages with the word “tempcheck” with three emoji to gauge how participants are feeling about a conversation. ✅ indicates the conversation is fine; ⚠️ indicates that this is a somewhat sensitive subject and to approach with caution; 🛑 is a request to move on to another topic.

Care for yourselves

• Know when to walk away — Conversations in TBLGAY can get heated, and it’s important to recognize when it may be better for you to disengage from a particular conversation. Step back; you can always come back to a conversation with a clearer head later.
• On the Discord, use and follow the pause emoji — Sometimes it is better for the entire channel to disengage from a particular conversation and not just individuals. Use the ⏸️ (:pause_button:) to ask for space to collect your thoughts, and use ▶️ (:arrow_forward:) after you’ve gotten the space you needed. When you see someone use the pause button, please wait for the user to finish their thoughts and use ▶️ before typing any more responses. If the user has stopped typing for a few minutes, it’s OK to check in and ask if they’re ready for an unpause.
• On the Discord, use and follow the stop emoji — Use the 🛑 (:octagonal_sign:) emoji to ask that the chat move on to another topic. If you see somebody use this in chat, please drop the subject immediately and move on. If it’s unclear what they’ve asked you to stop, either ask the user if they seem like they’d be comfortable responding to you, or contact the Collective to step in.
• Engage in self-care — Hyperfocusing on TBLGAY and forgetting to take care of yourself is not an uncommon experience. However, we believe that it’s more important to take care of yourself before anything in the Discord. Drink some water; remember to eat. Get enough sleep, and get some fresh air. TBLGAY can wait.

Enforcement

The TBLGAY Collective evaluates each report or Code of Conduct violation on a case-by-case basis. Together, Collective members use their best judgment to determine whether a member is acting in good faith and is likely to improve their behavior. Collective members make moderation decisions as a team, and no action is made at the discretion of a single Collective member.

In some cases we will remove content or take another publicly visible action, but in other cases we might take other actions that aren’t publicly visible or watch the discussion closely and evaluate further actions as the conversation progresses. We ask you to keep in mind that if you report something to us and it is not removed it might mean that we have taken other actions.

Here are some of the actions we may take:

• Removing content.
• Contacting the member directly.
• Issuing a public warning (moderation note in a channel).
• Issuing a private warning.
  • If you are issued three formal warnings, you will be banned from TBLGAY spaces until formal notice.
  • Warnings may be cleared out after continued improvement, at the discretion of Collective.
• Temporary mutes.
• Temporary or permanent bans.

Please keep in mind that when we take any of these actions, we do not reveal who, if anyone, has reported the content so that your privacy in reporting is still assured.

TBLGAY’s Collective and Internal teams keep a record of every report. Over time this helps us to identify patterns of abusive behavior, and take the necessary actions.

Reporting

If you see a violation of our code of conduct, please report it to the TBLGAY Collective and Internal team.

Why should I report?

You are responsible for making TBLGAY a safe and comfortable space for everyone. Everyone in our community shares this responsibility. Collective members are not around the Discord server at all times, nor are they present for every conversation inside and out of space, so we cannot enforce the code of conduct without your help.

The consequences for the community of not reporting bad behavior outweigh the consequences for one person of reporting it. We sometimes hear “I don’t want X person to meet consequences because I told someone about their bad behavior.” Consider the impact on everyone else in TBLGAY of letting their behavior continue unchecked, and remember that the Collective only takes action after careful deliberation. Reports help us see where there is friction that we may not immediately recognize.

TBLGAY only works as a self-directed, community-driven organization because of shared trust and radical respect between members. Reporting code of conduct violations helps us identify when this trust is broken, to prevent that from happening in the future. It also helps us understand where the edges of this document are, and reports help us continually improve our community as a welcoming space.

Where and how to report

Please report all code of conduct violations either via Discord Direct Message, pinging the @Collective role directly in a channel, or via email to tblgayinternal@yfs.ca.

In your report, include as much of the following as you feel comfortable:

• The name you use in TBLGAY spaces (Discord, the drop-in space, etc) — this can help us understand the context of the report.
• A detailed description of what happened — please link to or send us the relevant text if the incident took place online.
• Where and when the incident happened
• Any other relevant context. Do you have examples of a pattern of similar behavior from this person before? Do you have a relationship with this person outside of TBLGAY?
• If/how you’ve already responded — this lets us know the current state of the situation.

Confidentiality

We will keep all reports confidential, except if we’ve discussed with you and agreed otherwise. When we discuss incidents with people who are reported, we will anonymize details as much as we can to protect the privacy of other parties.

However, some incidents happen in one-on-one interactions, and even if the details are anonymized, the reported person may be able to guess who made the report. If you have concerns about retaliation or your personal safety, and do not want us to share the details of your report with anyone (including the perpetrator) please let us know explicitly in your report. Unfortunately, in that situation we may not be able to take any action.